I'm sorry, what is this garbage? Greetings, buddy! What time did you wake up on this great day, if you would kindly let me know?
Maybe 10 o'clock? It's too early anyway. Have you ever thought of waking up early, old friend?
Blow off. You don't have to be grumpy about it right now, believe me. What if I told you that studies have shown that rising earlier in the morning is associated with more happiness and a lower risk of developing depression?
Really? How early did you get out of bed today? I have to admit, I was awake and alert at five in the morning.
Go away. Scientific evidence in any circumstance supports this. The lead author of the study, Jessica O'Loughlin, conducted a poll of over 450,000 middle-aged persons to learn about their preferences for waking hours. Those who were the first to wake up were less likely to feel depressed or anxious.
Why? You stupid thing, they don't change their regular sleeping schedule to fight nature! Usually, the next day is a complete bummer for those of you who stay up late. Since it's akin to jet lag, you might not enjoy it.
I must say that this is sad. That's obvious! You wake up way too late.
So long as I don't get up sooner, you won't leave. Nope.
Okay, how do I proceed from there? You can't.
What? Your DNA predetermined the time you wake up each morning. There were 351 genetic variations that affected waking time, according to research from the University of Exeter. Genetic profiles for early risers predicted 8% lower levels of depression.
This annoys me. This morning, I awoke at five! The time is 5:00! Wheeeee!
The reason behind your early rise is. My kids are still quite young. I'm not allowed to sleep any later, they say! At half past four the other day, I was awake. Imagine!
Do you long for later bedtimes? Oh, dear! For the past 18 months, my eye has been uncontrollably twitching. Can we trade?
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